if only

If only I could stop long enough for my head to stop spinning, for my eyes to close and rest. I was on a plane, off a plane, in St. Louis back home. No sooner had I been at work enough to know I was busy, then I took off for Cincinnati again returned home. Two days at work trying to do the work of two weeks then to New York, back a day for a meeting or two then again to New York and Philadelphia. It has been easier to think "I want this, I will get this" while standing in front of the piano at home, knowing my bed and my partner were near at hand. But there has been a disturbance; my cat has taken to being missing the last few days. Now with the cat gone, even in cities far away, my sleep has been disturbed and my mind a bit flighty. Perhaps it is time to go home, look under some more houses for the kitty and take a break. Until Saturday that is. At least for the night. Well, perhaps for a few hours.

first audition of the season

I had my first audition of the season yesterday. After 2 hours of driving and magically finding a free parking garage tucked away under buildings and roads and between streets, I arrived an hour early. This was just enough time to change into my dress, warm up #2 to make sure the notes were moving (the real warm up was that morning at 10am) and sit quietly and read. "The Hitchhiker's Guide" seemed the reasonable if not convenient choice, it was sitting on my car seat when I left. It was quite an odd experience though to sit down outside of the auditions, begin to ponder what it was that made 'that' difference between, "they have a great voice" and "we must hire them" and then open up a chapter that was all about how completely small and insignificant we are. In fact, the total perspective machine that was discussed in the book had been known to scramble the brains of anyone unfortunate enough to sit inside of it and realize just how tiny they are. Somehow it worked for me. I was relaxed. I was so relaxed in fact, that when the accompanist began to drop measures and the right hand in places, my thoughts of total and complete fear at getting lost and not able to recover were mere thoughts. I held it together vocally and if anything, came through blazing. I'm sure there was some terror that flitted through my eyes but not so much that it caused a stir. I truly feel bad for the accompanist. What a tough position to be put into; sight reading all sorts of crazy arias for hours. It just had to be her luck that of all my arias I chose a slightly up tempo Handel aria, "Sta nell'Ircana" from Alcina. I did however go out and make an even larger copy of the music. If it helps the next accompanist even a little, it is worth it.

The second aria they called did have me a bit flustered. It was probably residual 'holy crap' adrenalin running through my system from the last piece, but I don't recall as much from the small portion of "Non piu mesta" that they asked for. I am almost wholly sure that one reason they asked to hear the beginning of that piece following the Handel was to hear my range and a higher and lower coloratura. The third page of the "Non piu" flies through two runs that encompass two very fast octaves. I can't say I was as pleased with this performance...but it is progress. I can now say that under the circumstances of an audition, I feel decent with how I performed. I can however do better - that is my total perspective for the night.

ready for take off

Things are picking up.

I have my first audition of the season this next Wednesday. It is close to home and I am looking forward to it.

Then on Friday I fly to visit my mom and hopefully pick up a waiting list audition. I will get to see her new house and surroundings. I can understand now how hard it was for her to have me move and not know where I was; it was a great unknown.

The next work week is a whopping 2 days before E and I head off to Sonoma Valley for Thanksgiving. The day after we get back I take off for another audition. Return for 1-2 days then off again to NY for one audition (waiting on 3 more).

Hopefully I will pick up an audition in Pittsburgh before heading back home for the first opera rehearsal of the season!

The excitement is already surging through my blood.

last year

was too easy.

chautauqua

I almost cried. What a relief it was to get one acceptance for an audition after all of the rejections. At least this was a company I remember having a good audition for last year, and sending a CD to this year. This implies two things: 1) From their perspective, my audition last year must have been decent 2) My CD must have shown progress or promise. The first acceptance out of the way, I can make way in my head for what is actually happening.

I picked up rental scores for the two operas I will be a chorus member in this winter. Boris will be a great experience and I ordered a recording with both the original and the traditionally performed version of the opera. I began working on the Messiah for my April job. I am quite tickled that the conductor has decided to keep the 1750's version of the alto singing "But who may abide". I remember hearing the bass from last year's production here in town and absolutely drooling over it. I have decided to add this to my list for an upcoming competition in January. I have to fill out the list with a piece for orchestra or chamber orchestra/mezzo and an operatic aria one of the two having been written after 1925. There are a few things floating around in my head and I'll have it more settled by next week. I am toying with some Mahler songs or Barber's "Dover". If I go with the Mahler, Nina's Aria would be my aria choice and if Barber makes its way onto my list, Strauss's Composer's aria.

I do love the planning and the preparation.