Some Days are Tougher than Others

This was going to be a post consisting primarily of a sob story recounting my many woes from yesterday. Luckily I was so stricken yesterday that I didn't have the heart to write. Today has turned around, leaving this a post more about the fact that indeed, some days are tougher than others, which leaves those other days to look forward too.

My beginning sentence yesterday went something, okay, exactly like this: "Today was a rough day."

I'm amending it to read as: Yesterday was one of the rougher days, but today I'm feeling more optimistic and I've managed to pull myself away from the pity party, for now.

What was it that left me sulking in the corner? Rejection. It's always rejection. I can take criticism because there's feed back associated with criticism. I'm able to accept or reject what's said and make the appropriate adjustments to my singing/performance/self. Silent rejection smarts. It's much harder to make sense of it. It wasn't even that the rejection letters I received yesterday were the sole cause of my blues. Instead they were the proverbial straw. But for every time I fall apart, there's the opportunity to put myself back together stronger and better. Sometimes I'd rather not have so many opportunities for self improvement.

With that out of the way, now to the good stuff.

Yesterday, I made my way to the Metropolitan Opera Chorus audition which was a bit of a trip, the mental kind. The audition was held at the Met. First stop was a waiting room full of singers and a large flat screen T.V. broadcasting the combat staging rehearsal from the stage. No, no, not intimidating at all.

After waiting room number one, we were brought downstairs in groups or 5 to another waiting room set up in a hall outside of the audition room. I had enough time to hear a good number of singers and get a feel for the accompanist, who of course as spectacular (reportedly the Assistant Chorus Master, Joseph Lawson). I also heard from other auditioners that the room was a bit hard to sing in, carpeted and with little acoustic feedback. I heard one baritone push his way through an aria possibly in an attempt to get some of the non existent acoustic feedback. I also learned that there were a row of auditionors behind laptops madly typing away.

Armed and dangerous, I went it, announced my piece and sang my heart out. I was nervous going in since I've been nursing a chest cold for the last few days but it only had a minimal impact on a few middle register notes which came out slightly under-supported, aka flat. But the acoustics in the room seemed great to me. It left me prepared to just sing, not listen, factoring out a good portion of the internal self-depreciation that sometimes happens mid song. The auditioners were indeed behind their laptops typing away - hopefully phrases like, "hire her", "great voice", "lovely vocal color", "darling", "musical". They did however all look up and make nice contact at various moments in the music. I was allowed to sing the entire aria, had a nice "thank you very much." I thanked the accompanist then walked out all jittery and excited. The kicker though, contracts won't be offered until May so I'll at least forget I ever auditioned by that time.

While I'm on the happy bus, I might as well mention that I attended my first rehearsal for the Christmas Spectacular. I'll be singing "Lo, How a Rose E'er Blooming" in addition to the choral selections.